It has been a month since the election and I have been sitting on this blog for nearly that long. I wanted to let the dust settle a little bit, and now I want to share some of my thoughts. Since the election I've seen a lot of fear and anger. A lot of my friends are not conservative and had a hard time with Trump being elected. I can understand why. He was not my first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, (remember how many Republican candidates there were?) choice. He was somewhere towards the bottom of that list, if not at the bottom. However, as I have been thinking about the election my convictions stay the same. I am so thankful that Hillary was not elected the first female president. Don't get me wrong, I am all for having a female president, but I am thankful that Hillary is not the first one.
After her loss and concession speech I saw a lot of people, women in particular, expressing a lot of different emotions, mostly fear and anger. I saw some Christians questioning the salvation of those who voted for Trump, as if they, and not God, could judge the human heart. I saw many hate-filled posts directed toward Trump supporters. I saw many moms putting up pictures of their daughters with the Hillary quote, "And to all of the little girls who are watching this, never doubt that you are valuable and powerful and deserving of every chance and opportunity in the world to pursue and achieve your own dreams." This is one of the few things that Hillary has said that I have agreed with, but as a woman, wife, and mother, I am still glad that she is not the first female president.
You see, when Kaia - or any of my future girls - asks me about this election, I have to be prepared to give them an answer. I have been thinking about this since before the election even took place. I want my daughters to grow up strong and independent, and from their family history I can see a long line of women who have personified this. I think about my grandmother who raised four kids while my grandfather was in the service. I think about my great-grandmother who bashed a bully's head on a sidewalk when she wouldn't stop harassing her or how she eloped with my great-grandfather because the rest of her family wanted him to marry her sister. I think about both my mom and grandma who left their families to go to an out of state school to achieve their dreams. I think about my husband's mom who moved twelve hours from where she grew up after getting married and graduating from college, raised four kids and got her Masters in early childhood education.
But wait, I'm a stay-at-home mom. Why would I think so highly of independence? Don't I know that by being a home-maker I am promoting a misogynistic culture? Aren't I under my husband's thumb? Oh my goodness, I must be so backward! These, and many similar things, are what I have been told by people who think that I don't properly represent women in this day and age. But I am so independent that I don't believe this.
When I was on an archaeological dig in Israel I was talking with another student from America that I had never met before this trip. She was upset with me because I did not classify myself as a feminist. In our conversation, I expressed that when I had children I would like to be a stay-at-home mom. She laid into me. In her opinion, by not "being a feminist" I was submitting to a society that saw women as less valuable than men. She believed I was being complacent in a sub-human role instead of being independent and strong. But here I was, a girl from North Carolina representing my small, private university in Indiana all by myself, whereas, she was a student from a large public university that came with a bunch of friends and her professor. So, as she was preaching independence and being a strong woman to me, she was the far less-independent one in this scenario. After she listed a bunch of reasons why she thought I was short-changing women everywhere, I replied, "No, you see, I am so independent I don't want anyone else to raise my kids." After that, she didn't have a response. But this has been my philosophy. I am so independent that I want to be the one who raises my children. Perhaps it's arrogance, but I want to be the main influence on my children; it's called a legacy. And I hope that part of my legacy is instilling in my girls that being a "feminist" is not necessary for being strong, independent, or all that God has called them to be.
Don't get me wrong, I do believe in equality, but I don't believe I have to be sexist against men to achieve it. It seems that feminists think the path to equality is to make women into men. But God doesn't call women to be men, He calls them to be different. Think about it this way, if the goal of feminism is to become equal to or usurp men, that is agreeing with the fact that women are "lesser." God doesn't call women to be less than men or greater than men, just different. I'll be the first to admit that this is something that the church has gotten wrong (hmmm, I think another blog may be in order). A proper understanding of Genesis 2:18 shows that God created woman to be an ezer for man. This word is used in other places in the Bible to describe God Himself. God did not create woman to be subservient, but rather for Adam and Eve to be each other's helpers, rescuers, and fellow warriors. But feminism mistakenly attempts to correct the ezer misunderstanding by making women into men and sometimes by trying to dominate him, in the name of "equality." And while I do believe in equality, I don't believe that this means the next 45 presidents should be women. So, if I am not a feminist and I'm also not anti-woman, why would I be happy that Hillary was not elected?
When my daughters look back on history I want them to admire and want to be like strong, independent women, who have a moral compass. I want them to look up to women like Abigail Adams who not only raised a family, but ran the family farm, and ran it so well that she made a profit on it. At the same time, she would write to her husband, John, which highly influenced his policy making while he was away at the Continental Congress forming our new nation. I want them to look up to to women like Joan of Arc who led an army of men and ultimately died for them and for what God had called her to do. I want them to look up to Mother Teresa who devoted her entire being to caring for the poor and vulnerable. I want them to look up to many other women like Dolly Madison, Clara Barton, and Florence Nightingale. And, though time may tell me otherwise, right now I want them to look up to Kellyanne Conway, the first woman to manage a successful presidential campaign. All of these women have shown that they are not only strong and independent, but also God-fearing with a sense of morality. These are the virtues that I want my daughters to look up to in a female president and then aspire to be like. When I look at Hilary Clinton, I do not see this type of person.
Having said all of this, had I not known about things like Benghazi and the email scandal, I would still not want Hillary to have been the first female president. Despite what she has said about being an advocate for women and children, her actions have said the exact opposite.
The Declaration of Independence states, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." Our Founding Fathers thought that these three Rights were things that could not be denied because they were God given, which is why they aren't found in the Constitution. And while we are really good at the last unalienable right, the pursuit of Happiness, we are lousy at the first two. The problem with this is that these rights are not isolated and independent of each other. In order to fully experience the third you have to have the second. And to have the second, it is absolutely necessary to have the first.
To start let's look at the Right to Life. Hillary is pro-choice for any time or reason in the first two trimesters and up to the day of birth for any health reason. This stance is heavy on the "pursuit of Happiness" side of the spectrum - at least for one out of the two people that will be affected. If the mom does not want a child for any number or reasons: health, money, lifestyle, etc. the mom can "simply" abort the baby, problem solved. But this stance denies the very liberties that our nation was founded upon. Thomas Jefferson said the first Right was that of Life, only then could you enjoy the Right to Liberty, and finally, only after the first two, the pursuit of Happiness. What does our nation's stance on abortion tell us about the dignity of human life? That it is disposable.
If you don’t believe that our society sees unborn life as disposable, let’s look at some statistics that Planned Parenthood put out for the years 2013-2014. This report shows that PP performed 327,653 abortions while only referring 1,880 women to adoption resources! If we do some simple math and divide 327,653 by 1,880, we get 174.3 (when rounded to the tenths place) abortions for every adoption referral. Referrals actually dropped from the previous year by 317 or about 14%. We can also point out one of the questions on the Planned Parenthood website about adoption as evidence that our priorities are out of order. It reads, “Do I feel comfortable letting someone else parent my child?” The question implies that, if you are not comfortable with another person parenting your child, then a valid option would be to abort the baby. As if the death of your child were a better alternative? How much more selfish can someone be? This is the same principal that drives a young child to pour out the rest of their juice box solely because they don't want to share with anyone else. It's also the type of thinking that we hope our children will grow out of after kindergarten.
Or how about this statistic? In 2011 the amount of unplanned pregnancies that ended in abortion was 42%. Though I wish this number was 0%, shouldn’t this number be no higher 33.3%? If, for every baby that was aborted, one person chose to keep their child and another chose to place their child up for adoption, that would mean that at least 66% would have chosen life for their child instead of 58% as it was in 2011. Instead, many in America have allowed what they see as their unalienable Right to the pursuit of Happiness to rob their own children of their Rights to Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness - to the tune of over 300,000 children in 2013-2014 alone.
Part of the myth that causes many to support abortion is pointing to the foster care system. Many deduce that "pro-life" people are only pro-life for children in the womb, but not to those who have already been born. As an avid supporter of adoption, my husband and I are wanting to adopt a few children ourselves, I also look at the foster care system with a heart of heaviness. But the problem isn't that there aren't enough families for children in the foster care system and for those who are being aborted. The problem is the system itself. First of all, there is a lack of knowledge and understanding about these children. For example, how many churches (since I am a Christian I am calling out the Christian community) have invited someone to talk to the congregation about foster care and adoption? Statistically, 38% of Christians have thought about adopting, but only 5% actually have. And that is not acceptable! Unfortunately, these statistics aren't far off from the national statistics. Only 33% of Americans have thought about adoption and less than 2% actually do adopt.
But it's not all on individuals. It's on our government too. Though I agree with setting high standards for adoption to try to ensure that children are placed with good families that will take care of them, there are many problems with the current system as it is regulated by the government. I have known several families that have quit or almost quit the process because there was so much red tape. These were good families too. One couple I know was the only couple out of ten to make it through all of the training and hardships that they were put through. That's at least nine children that did not get homes because their potential families were forced out of the process by unnecessary bureaucratic red tape. It then took this families several years before they were placed with children. In fact, they almost didn't renew their eligibility to adopt. Also, currently, states get money for each child that is in the foster care system. Do you really think they are going to try hard to abolish something for which they receive money?
Then there are the families wanting to adopt newborns. Friends of ours were told they were probably going to have to wait 2 to 3 years before a child would be available to be placed with them, and this was after they went through all of the red tape. This is because there are not enough babies being born.
You see, claiming that there are unwanted children, ignores the fact that there is a grievous lack of knowledge, too much red tape, and a culture that thinks unborn life is disposable. Only after the weaknesses in the foster care system are fixed, the general public is educated about the drastic need for forever families, and every child conceived is given the chance to the first unalienable Right, can we conclude that any child left without a home is truly unwanted.
But the Right to Life is just that--a Right - to - Life. It really shouldn't matter if a child is "wanted" or "unwanted". The unalienable Right to Life, by its very nature, is what it is despite the desires of the child's parents. An "unwanted" child does not become a valid candidate for being aborted simply because its parents feel a certain way. Likewise, what gives the "wanted" child the Right to Life is not its parents desire for that baby to live. Otherwise, the Right to Life would not be unalienable, it would be conferrable. When we grasp this idea, we can see that an "unwanted" child is something in name only. In reality, an abortable child cannot exist. Only parents that allow their desires to mistakenly label another human being as disposable. But an unalienable Right to Life means there is no such thing as a disposable human being.
Most of what I have been saying targets abortion on demand, which by many is seen as ok in the first two trimesters or by some before 20 weeks. But there are advocates who go beyond this as well, Hillary being one of them. She has come out and said that she supports abortion up to the day of birth for health exceptions. This may sound like a victory, however, health exceptions have not been fully defined at this point. What if, on the delivery day, the mom is feeling depressed because she found out that she would be guaranteed a huge promotion at work, but it would require a lot more time traveling and spent at the office? Depression is a medical issue, would it then be ok to abort the baby? Or what about the situation I experienced?
While I was pregnant I had gestational diabetes; medical condition number one. I was a full time student working on my Master's with a nearly perfect GPA (perhaps I'm not as backwards, under my husband's thumb, or as dumb as some would have thought). I would try to take a short nap between one of my four classes and my study time. I set an alarm for 15 minutes to an hour depending on how much time I thought I could spare. But it never mattered how many alarms I set or how loud they were, I would always wake up 2 to 4 hours later. I was exhausted all the time; medical condition number two. It was during this time that I got my first B in a course which was depressing. On top of all that I was told that I would need to spend some extra time on my thesis and would not be able to graduate on time; depression-medical condition number 3. Though it seemed like my academic dreams were crumbling, because of the baby inside of me, I persevered.
The day came for me to get a non-stress test to see how she was doing. We were at a midwife center, which was where I wanted to give birth. I had done so well managing my gestational diabetes that I didn't require medication, which allowed me the opportunity to give birth at the center. However, the baby failed the non-stress test and we had to go to the hospital to repeat it. At the hospital she passed the non-stress test, but failed the ultrasound that checked her breathing. Because of this, they wanted me to have her as soon as possible. I started crying. I had done everything I could to achieve the birth plan I wanted, but it was looking like I would have to give birth at the hospital. After a long discussion, the hospital Dr., the mid-wife center's medical adviser, and midwife decided that if I could deliver within 24 hours after they broke my water, I could try to give birth at the center. The choice was ours.
But what if, in that moment, Jordan and I decided that there were too many "medical issues" surrounding this pregnancy and birth. What if we thought, Well if we aborted her I could hurry up with my thesis and even perhaps do it quickly enough to graduate on time. She did fail her ultrasound and one of the non-stress tests, what if she's more of a burden health wise? We don't have good insurance.--Yes, we think the best choice would be to abort her and wait until we are more ready. According to Hillary's abortion stance, we could have decided to abort her. If we would have done this, we would not have our perfectly healthy baby girl, with the hand eye coordination of a surgeon, and who is showing signs of being a strong independent woman already. As evidenced by many instances, like when she wanted me to come up on the playground equipment with her and go down the slide. She wasn't talking much at the time, so I was making her say things like "mama" when she wanted something. I said, "Say 'mama' and I will go up there and slide with you," because she had yet to go down the slide by herself. She shook her head no and went down all by herself. Yeah, I think she's going to be a head-strong girl.
The point is, I hope that I can instill in Kaia and my other children that all life is important, and valuable, and should not be denied, especially for the sake of convenience. But the opposite is being said in the abortion world. Sex selection based abortion is on the rise, with more girls being aborted than boys. What does this tell Kaia or any girl for that matter? Are their lives really as important as boys? I am going to tell Kaia that her life is just as important as anyone else, male or female, even if that is not what our culture is telling her. I will tell her that I always thought we would have a boy first. I would even joke with Jordan that I hoped God would give us biological boys and adopted girls. I didn't feel worthy (or maybe beautiful) enough to have a girl. But you know what? I praise God everyday for Kaia. She is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen and I don't even want to imagine her not being here because I was too selfish and wanted a boy first.
And what am I going to tell Kaia about races that are different than her own? I will tell her that all life is beautiful and special. I will tell her to be amazed by God in the beauty of His created people. But is that what the abortion world tell us? No, in fact, minorities are statistically more likely to abort than white Americans. Dig deep, America. Think about what our actions are saying and not just our official rhetoric. Are minority lives really as important to us? If they were, companies, like Planned Parenthood, would not target minorities. However, I will tell Kaia, what God says about every human life. Yes, everyone, no matter their skin color is eternally valuable. And I hope that our first female president will say with her words and actions that all lives matter, are valuable, and important, which is why I am glad that Hillary is not our first female president.
Abortion is just one example of Hillary's devaluing of the unalienable Right of Life, but let's change our focus a little and look at the Right of Liberty. The ability to have Liberty stems from the unalienable Right of Life. And in Hillary I see someone who steps on other's Liberty in order to pursue her own Happiness. For instance, she claimed to have been an advocate for women and children, but her nonpolitical actions say otherwise. As a lawyer she got a man a reduced sentence by trashing the 12 year old girl he raped. In a later interview, she snickered while saying that she knew he had raped her, but helping him was her job. Smearing a 12 year old was her job? Belittling a rape victim was her job? It would be one thing if the allegations were false, but she knew that they were true! This is not something I want my girls to emulate!
And while we are on the subject of the rape of young girls, what about the rape cases that Planned Parenthood have been charged with not reporting? The states where they have found this to have happened are: Alabama, Arizona, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Minnesota, and Ohio. Unfortunately several of these states had more than one example of rape being neglected and Planned Parenthood not reporting them. According to the report that the Alliance Defending Freedom put out, "These are just a few examples of Planned Parenthood's failure to report the sexual abuse of minors. Given the difficulty in overseeing Planned Parenthood and obtaining evidence that would reveal its failure to report sexual abuse of minors, the inescapable conclusion is that this cover up of sexual abuse happens regularly." Part of the cover up is that Planned Parenthood operates on a don't ask, don't tell policy meaning they don't ask the girls the age of the person who impregnated them or his relationship to her. You can read the full report here:
http://www.adfmedia.org/files/PlannedParenthoodSexAbuseSummary.pdf. Planned Parenthood gave 38 million dollars to Hillary's campaign and to pro-abortion candidates for congress. During her first speech as the Democratic Nominee for President, Hillary said this about Planned Parenthood, "I have been proud to stand with Planned Parenthood for a long time and, as president, I will always have your back." To me, having Planned Parenthood's back isn't pro-woman when there are multiple reports of minors being raped and not reported. From my perspective it does not look like Hillary cares about female lives in the womb or the one's outside of the womb either. I hope to instill a different narrative in Kaia, which is why I'm glad that Hillary was not elected to be the first female president.
But Hillary's Liberty squashing is not over. How should we react to the fact that when women came forward to say that Bill Clinton had affairs with them or raped them, Hillary called them names like "bimbo" and "trash"? Remember the uproar for the things Trump said about women? Where is the uproar for what Hillary has said? Now I'm not by any means defending Trump. What I am saying is that, why is "locker-room" talk of a businessman not aspiring public office (at the time) not ok, but "mean-girl" talk of a woman seeking public office ok? This is why I can't be a feminist! What do I tell Kaia about this difference? I'm going to tell her that none of this is ok and that she needs to be living her whole life as a living sacrifice to God and in everything that she does, she should be doing it as if it was for God-because she is! I will also tell her that she should not belittle other people's unalienable Rights for the sake and misinterpretation of the pursuit of Happiness. And I will have to tell her that I am so glad she does not have to look up to Hillary as the first woman president.
All of this aside, I thought about these things before the election and decided that I would write a blog about my thoughts, because it was too long to put on Facebook and I think a blog is a more appropriate place to put these ideas than straight onto Facebook. And with that, you'd think my blog would be over, right? But after the election I realized something. I have been so focused as to why I am thankful that Hillary is not our first female president and what I will tell Kaia about this, that I totally did not think about what I will tell our future boys about Trump being elected. All of the sudden I began my palms began to sweat. He's not who I wanted, either, and does not personify the values that I hope that they will admire and emulate. So what will I tell them?
I was stuck for a while. However I then realized that as a Christian I have the best response. I will tell them the same things I tell Kaia. I will explain to them that this election was between a gamble and corruption and I decided to roll the dice in hopes of protecting the most vulnerable. But I will emphasize to them that sometimes we are called to be Daniel in a Nebuchadnezzar world. Read the book of Daniel to fully get a grasp of what I mean. He was taken away from his homeland-Judah, by the Babylonians. The Babylonians had little respect for his lifestyle, which was rooted in his Israelite tradition. Despite most everybody hating him and living in a culture that directly went against his faith, God blessed him because he did not waver in his trust towards Him. I will tell my boys that sometimes God raises up powerful or bad rulers to punish the wicked or perhaps to find the faithful. I don't know what Trump's role is in God's grand story, but I know that despite things that he has said and done, God can still use him. And despite the things Trump has said and done, we are still called to be faithful and be a light in the world that even Trump can't deny. That's what happened with Daniel and Nebuchadnezzar.
This election has been more than unsettling for many, me included. But as I look at it all I can feel is relieved. Relieved that Kaia doesn't have to look to a corrupt woman was the first female president. Relieved that there is a gamble that could help the most vulnerable and the unalienable Rights of so many. If I am wrong in my assessment, in all sincerity, God be my judge and forgive my sin. If I am right, God grant us peace. I pray that we all have the courage to be Daniel in a Nebuchadnezzar world. And I pray for our first female president, whoever she may be. I pray that she will be a woman that I can tell the little girl sleeping in my arms right now, "Be like her." For now, though, I'll thank God for the waiting and maybe go read the Daniel story again.
