There has been a song that has nearly been on repeat at my
house. It’s called “Speak to Me” by
Geoff Moore. The words go,
Speak to me, Lord Jesus
Speak with love and grace
For I am lacking Father
Please restore my faith
To the place when I first met you
A fire bright and clear
Speak to me Lord Jesus
I am listening
Chorus:
Cause your words they give me life
And their hope keeps me alive
So I’ll wait to hear your voice
I am broken on my knees
Cause I know you’ll rescue me
So I’ll wait to hear your voice
Yes I’ll wait to hear
Speak to me Lord Jesus
In Your perfect time
Give me strength to rest Lord
In Your will not mine
And may You find me Father
Ready to receive
Speak to me Lord Jesus
I am listening
I am waiting Lord
I am resting on my knees
I am waiting for
You to speak
I have journaled these lyrics. I have cried these lyrics. I have prayed these lyrics. Lately I have been yearning for God to speak. Of course I want it to be in His time, but I really wish His time was now. He, however has been silent. I have been getting angry and even depressed. Why hasn’t He answered me yet? What’s wrong with Him that He’s not answering me? I’m like Elijah in the cave looking for flamboyant signs from God; some heavenly fire, but like Mt. Carmel and not the cave, might be nice right now. So what’s the deal with God lately?
It wasn’t until yesterday that I realized something rather embarrassing. I was starting to read a book written by one of my favorite authors. I skimmed the forward, which was written by someone else I greatly admire. The whole premise of the book is looking at the Jewishness of Jesus to better understand His teachings and to put Him in a more authentic context. I couldn’t wait to get started. However, when I read the title to Part 1 tears streamed down my face. The title is, “Hearing Our Rabbi’s Words with New Ears.” It was in that moment I realized that probably the reason that I haven’t heard God isn’t the fact that He hasn’t been talking, but rather that I have been scared of what He is going to say so I haven’t been authentically listening. Lately what has been occupying my mind is that dreams I’ve had since I was a teenager don’t seem as if they are going to be my reality. This has been hitting me hard. But what’s even worse is asking God to speak, yet closing my ears because I don’t want to hear. And then looking for signs that back up what I want rather than seeking His will.
It wasn’t until yesterday that I realized something rather embarrassing. I was starting to read a book written by one of my favorite authors. I skimmed the forward, which was written by someone else I greatly admire. The whole premise of the book is looking at the Jewishness of Jesus to better understand His teachings and to put Him in a more authentic context. I couldn’t wait to get started. However, when I read the title to Part 1 tears streamed down my face. The title is, “Hearing Our Rabbi’s Words with New Ears.” It was in that moment I realized that probably the reason that I haven’t heard God isn’t the fact that He hasn’t been talking, but rather that I have been scared of what He is going to say so I haven’t been authentically listening. Lately what has been occupying my mind is that dreams I’ve had since I was a teenager don’t seem as if they are going to be my reality. This has been hitting me hard. But what’s even worse is asking God to speak, yet closing my ears because I don’t want to hear. And then looking for signs that back up what I want rather than seeking His will.
Now that I have recognized the problem I have a choice. I can either go about my life as I have,
being fearful and maybe even missing out on something wonderful that He is
going to say. Or I can do my best to
listen to the still small voice, despite how much it might hurt. Because no
matter the pain, I know that He does have good in store for me. His words bring life and hope. So I’ll wait and actually do my best to listen.
